MY TWENTY-THIRD BIRTHDAY

That day is long gone, 51 minutes long gone or probably more by the time you start reading this.

I just wanted the cake, I like cake, and there’s one type I was particularly interested in since I have never tried it as far as I know. The red velvet. I was walking to the bakery twenty minutes before the birthday ends, my body’s trying to humidify and warm the cold air I’m breathing, got my nostrils moist, making me sniff every now and then with a ghostly exhale on a black background. the street was almost empty and the bakery was just closing, I got in and went straight for it. The red velvet. Hoping it was going to taste a bit sower, I like sower. I thought I should get a candle, but it’s too much work, and then again, how am supposed to light it. Fuck it. Just a cold ass cake for a cold ass birthday, guess I won’t pretend like I believe in birthday wishes. I got out of the shop, walked a few feet so I won’t feel judged by anyone standing there. A guy, eating a piece of cake, alone, in an empty street, in the middle of the night. “Happy birthday you sad cold bastard.”. Yeah, that’s what I said. Old and stale, I don’t think red velvet fans would like that piece of cake either but I ate away, thinking of who wished me a happy birthday. Dad, mom, sis, and my uncle, four people, not even my brother, but I don’t blame him, I understand. I live with three roommates away from my family. I didn’t want anyone to bother. I don’t know what I feel, or if I’m feeling anything at all, may be I am because I’m writing this crap. I wanted to promise myself that next year it’ll be different, that next year I’ll be with a girl that will care enough, I don’t want much, may be a cupcake with a candle, and we would just celebrate together, just two instead of one in that empty street. Twenty-three year-old virgin. Well, a nice girl that I know saw me in the gym today and I talked to her afterwards that must be something, mustn’t it? Meh. None of my friends remembered. I understand that too. I sometimes remember the close ones’ birthdays but they haven’t remembered. I don’t know, may be it’s just because I didn’t do much today to keep my mind busy.

I went to school for a class, then went to the gym, got back to my place to get my regular post workout meal, took a nap, another meal, then phone till I decided to go out to get me a cake, and then got a hotdog, the only luxury for the was not eating a lot. I got tired of eating so much protein.

I think a Mars bar would’ve been so much better than that cake. Been a while since I’ve eaten a good piece of cake. I’m Going to watch Dear John, or may be not and head to sleep. Is this because I’m graduating? And life just got real? Am I going to be happier after? I’m numb.

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